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September 14, 2011

Shut Up Stupid!

.        Have you ever noticed that the lower someones IQ is the more they have to say? 
     This phenomenon is fascinating to me. Every moron is full of ideas and opinions and they are very eager to let everyone know just how dense they are.  The dumber the person the more opinionated and vocal they are.  You have to give stupid people at least this.  They're entertaining.
     A game I like to play with the intellectually challenged is to just let them talk and get really deep into a hole all while nodding, smiling, and encouraging them along and then, all the sudden, say something that shoots their entire argument to pieces.  They get a look like you punched them square in the nose.  Its awesome. 
     They get all dazed, start to back peddle and most of the time will even come immediately around to your side.  I love it. 
     Sometimes stupid people are annoying but face it life would be boring without the stupid.
     Another fun game to play with the stupid is a game I call "Confusion". 
     It's pretty simple.  Basically just say intelligent things sprinkled with things that are easy to follow and watch them pretend to understand.  
     Then all the sudden ask a question and watch the pain spread across their faces like wildfire.  Sometimes you can actually hear the gears slip in their cute little minds.
     Its not mean to enjoy the stupid for many reasons but more importantly its downright rude not to.  Stupid people need love too dammit.  So find a moron and lend them your ear.  Its great fun if you know how to enjoy it properly plus they like the attention.       
     Also being stupid has its attractions.  For one alot less stuff bothers you.  It's hard to be outraged when your too dumb to understand that you should be.  They also don't waste any time on petty things like grooming.  Think of how much time you waste just on brushing your teeth alone.  Plus fashions not a concern.  Sniff it and if it doesn't make you gag throw it on.  If it does, no problem, just throw it in the dryer for ten minutes.  Because every stupid person knows warming dirty clothes is the same if not better than washing them. 
     Hell just about everything is simpler.  When your dumb life has no worries just eat, sleep, screw and repeat.
   Also why is it that the dumber you are the bigger the tires are on your truck.  What do morons like so much about being up high?  I guess its the equivalent to the smaller your wiener the flashier your car. 
     It's true though idiots love huge tires.  Big ass tires and loud mufflers.  I think all the noise must be to drown out the crippling silence in their heads.
     Beings that I find so much joy in the stupid I could go on and on about all their great little quirks but I'm gonna wrap it up for now so in closing I'd just like to say thank you to every idiot that has ever blessed me by touching my life.  I love all of you and your antics hold a special place in my heart.  God bless the stupid.

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