Childbirth isn't beautiful. That is a dirty damn lie cooked up by women to trick us into going into that room with them. It was absolutely horrible. By far the very worst thing I ever saw in my entire life. I still wake up screaming from it and all I did was watch and pray that my hand wouldn't crush from the death grip she had on it.
I thought I knew every curse word there was but I had never even heard half of the obscenities she used to describe me in that delivery room. If looks could kill my penis would have been ripped off, she would have turned it into a knife with her mind, and then used it to stab me as many times as she could without killing me, then she would have set me on fire with her eyes and watched my wiener less bloody frame burn up with child-like delight. I was terrified..,
Baby's are beautiful, childbirth is horrific and traumatizing. Watching my happy place be destroyed was the most awful thing I ever witnessed and is forever burnt into my brain. The men in the old school had it right. Stay away from the delivery room if you ever want to be able to look your vagina in the clit again. Your eyes, mind and wiener will thank you.
Check out these related funny posts as well...