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September 23, 2011

Super-Size those fries

We need to finally, as a country, get together and decide just how fat we're gonna get.  We're all over the place on this one.  Fat, skinny, very fat, plump, dammit, make up your minds.  
I just wanna fit in.
There seems to be a majority of fatties so I'm on the right track but you skinny's are jerks you know that? Get on board already . 
They're always walking around in clothes that fit like there so special.  Meanwhile, I can't raise my arms without exposing my sexy hairy belly and I'm all out of belt to poke holes in to help my zipper hold these jeans together. 
But Quarter Pounders are buy one get one free right now and I'm not gonna waste a whole sandwich just because I'm full.  
I'm chubby but I'm not a quitter.
  Your jerks skinny people.  Eat a sandwich.
There is no good reason to be thin nowadays your just not even trying. 
You can't spit without hitting a McDonald's in this country and that shit will fatten you right up.  So head on into the Ol' McD's and when the girl asks if you wanna super-size you say,
 "Hell yes I do!,  and throw in a damn apple pie baby cuz them shits are delicious."

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