Clerks 2

     Clerks 2, another film from my top 10 best, is a movie that really surprised me and ended up being one of those films I can watch over and over and never get sick of. 
     It is about Kevin Smiths original duo Randall and Dante after the Quick stop is burned down and they hafto get jobs at Mooby's a fast food restaurant in the View Askew universe.
     Like all Smith films this one is rich in edgy funny dialogue a skill at which Smith is a master.  It is a little crass for some viewers but if you have a dirty mind, which alot of us do, and aren't easily offended the jokes are very, very funny.  It is also filled with tons of memorable lines and moments most of the best shouldn't even be mentioned because it would sound awful...for example there's a donkey show.  They don't show anything but its implied.  It is a hilarious scene but it sounds awful when you just say it.  But that's the beauty of Kevin Smith's movies.  They just skate the edge.  he knows how to go right up to the line without crossing it.
     Another of my favorite scenes, and trust me its hard to just pick a few , is Pillow Pants.  For those of you who don't know who that is I can't tell you without ruining the scene but trust me it's hilarious.  I included it at the bottom because words just don't do it justice.  If you passed on this one definitely check it out.  I highly recommend it.

Sparkling Vampires?!?

       I HATE the Twilight movies. Never read the books but I betcha I'd hate them too.  I hated those movies from the moment I saw Edward sparkle.  I immediately wanted Jacob to tear his head off, rip his heart out, kick it around for a half hour and then finally stake him 15 times.  I hate sparkling Vampires.
     Vampires are supposed to invoke fear into your heart who the hell is afraid of glitter?  Sure he has all the other powers but who cares he frigging sparkles in the sun.  How gay.  Gay as in stupid not homosexual.  Homosexual's aren't as gay as these movies.
     You may be saying, "Shawn, how do you know so much about movies you hate?"...Because I like women and women make you watch stupid stuff all the time.  Case in point Titanic.  Two and a half hours of garbage to watch the damn boat sink. Gay.
     Death to sparkling Vampires!

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Ron Jeremy

     A career I do not understand is Ron Jeremy's. 
     I'm not putting him down because I'm outta shape too but how the hell did he get so much work in porn industry being fat, hairy and ugly?
     The only theory I've heard is he's very well endowed.  And while that's true aren't there other guys lined up at that audition where he got his first part that have a big'n and aren't goofy looking.
     His movies are less sexual and more comical and often not on purpose.  There is just something ruthlessly absurd about a fat ugly guy coated in hair with all these beautiful women.  It's like a "One of these things is not like the other" from Sesame Street. 
     Its so absurd its comical so maybe that's why.  He's large, funny and the viewer figures he could get that girl cuz shit, Ron got her.  She must be blind as a bat and love fur if she's with him so id definitely have a shot. 
     That's gotta be it...he's porn's everyman.  The lovable underdog of the sex industry.

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True Romance

My favorite movie of all time is a lil ensemble flick written by Quentin Tarantino and directed by Tony Scott called "True Romance".  It is the story of a young couple madly in love trying to sell a suitcase full of cocaine to finance their future together in Cancun. This film has everything except a boring scene.  There is never a dull line of dialogue or a bad performance or weak moment.  Just wall to wall great writing, acting and action.

Clarence Whorely is an ecentric underachiever working in a comic book store.  While at the theater watching his birthday movie, a tripple feature kung fu flick, a pretty blonde named Alabama spills popcorn all over and meets Clarance sitting with him to watch the movies.  After the karate flix they go for pie and to clarences work and finally to Clarences apartment where they make love.

Clarence wakes up to find Alabama gone from the bed. Noticing the window onto the balcony was open Clarence bundled with a blanket and went out the window to find Alabama crying under a Jeep billboard.

Deciding they are in love they elope to the courthouse where they get married.  After the courthouse wedding they get matching angel tattoos.  Its while getting tattooed that Alabama mentions Drexl, her former pimp.

Elvis advises Clarance on how to handle Alabama's former pimp so he asks her to write her former address on an old magazine and heads to Drexl's.

After negotiating with Drexl about Alabama Clarance aquires a suitcase of uncut cocaine mistaking it for his wifes belongings.  They decide to sell the cocaine to finance their life together.

This is only the first twenty mins or so of this movie.  It is full speed like that all the way through with riveting performances by James Gandolfini, Dennis Hopper, Christopher Walken, Tom Sizemore Tony Scott even gets a helluva performance outta Bronson Pinchott.  My point being this movie is the best movie i've ever seen and by that I mean in terms of pacing, writing, acting and directing.  Every piece is perfect and compliments the others painting lives of charachters that you care deeply for and showing love you can actually feel.  To be completly cleashe and totally lame this film is a home-fkn-run.

Honestly, and im saying this as a huge Tarantino fan, I believe this movie is his best and most pure work.  this film is alive. it breathes. I love this movie.