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June 20, 2012

Found or Overheard Jokes, vol. one

I just heard this 'Little Johnny" joke while at church outside smoking a cigarette,

"Little Johnny is sitting in class, and the teacher says, "Today children, we are going to learn multi-syllable words. Does anyone have an example of a multi-syllable word?"Little Johnny waves his hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" So Miss Rogers says, "Alright Little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?" And Little Johnny says, "Masturbate" Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow Little Johnny, that's a mouthful." And Little Johnny says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of fel-a-tio."

Isn't that a cute joke?  I thought it was adorable. 
Here's another one that I heard while on break at work,

      An elderly man wanted to get his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it. So the doctor asked him : 'What was the problem?' and the elderly man said: 'Well, you I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing. Then the doctor interrupted him: 'Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?!' The elderly man said: 'Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup.'

I really liked that one too and also this last one I heard from the kid's bus driver yesterday.

A woman was standing in a crowded lift of the hotel she was staying in. When a man got in and accidentally elbowed her in the breast. The man said, "I'm sorry! But if your heart is as soft as your tit, you'll forgive me." so the woman replies, "If you d*ck is as hard as your elbow then I am staying in room 113."
Funny right?

Anyway this has been Found or Overheard Jokes vol 1 here on Laughing at Life 

For more great jokes click link here for our Funny Jokes page.


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