If that sentence offended you turn back now it only gets worse...OK then,
Porn is to me what Linus's blanket was to him. I hardly ever look at it anymore really but I feel safer just knowing its there.
Plus I can't tell you how many times it has helped me release the poison so I could think clearly again. Because being a chubby white guy with a face for radio my quest for tail hasn't always been an easy one.
I imagine its much easier for girls. But isn't everything? I would think even a butt fugly girl can decide she's getting laid and make it happen with enough booze. I know I've been with a few "vampires" myself. For guys its not that easy. I know I could never call it. Most times I have sex its a total surprise for me. I never see it coming..,
Sex is hard for guys. We have to do much more to get it and I know I've done things I would never do just for the chance that it would get me laid. There wasn't much I wouldn't do and I also had to avoid places just because it might stop me from getting any. Like amusement parks and fairs because I'm terrified of heights. I'm not gonna ride some death trap built by the high school dropout that turned in the lowest bid just to have a shot at some action. In those cases I turn to my porn. In my life I have often depended on masturbation. Making sweet love to good Ol' Rosie Palmer, my faithful lady.
Sex is even a lot less awkward for girls. Girls have nothing to hide, but if your an under-endowed guy, that moment when you first show your junk to a girl is very scary for us Lil guys.
Buying condoms sucks too. I hate that condoms come in different sizes. They should at least come up with codes girls don't know for the sizes but no its just small through XL. So now I'm standing in the condom aisle wondering if I should get the ones I want to be seen buying or the ones that will fit. In the end I always just buy the XL's and steal three packs of the smalls. I'm sorry but Walgreen's should hire uglier chicks. It would cut down on the condom theft.
In closing thank you porn industry. Sex is hard for guys and without porn blue-balls would become a global epidemic.
P.S. Much respect and a big shout-out to Vaseline as well.
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