Laughing News,
Comedy News You Can Trust For Free
Comedy News You Can Trust For Free
Today, in Headlines..,
UCLA study on Married Women's ass sizes reveals a disturbing discovery..,
Theory's and results from latest and best ever study show LN News that ...
Recent studies have revealed that a chemical found in the gold of women's wedding rings causes a 15% annual drop in overall sex drive in women. A 20% yearly increase in girth, increases tending to generally be in butt size and the mid and lower gunt area. "Sometimes both, but always one.", Scientist Micheal Camden was quoted as saying on the girth increase findings.
Later, off camera, and having a cigarette with LN camera man Al Sterling he went on to say, 'Man Al, we was talking about those findings having to do with that Gold and Al we were just fkn lightly glazing the surface and I swear Al, Fk that Gold',
Al said the guy like growled the last bit and was just pissed at Gold, "It was intense dude seemed really super
pissed when he scrunched his face up all angry and flicked his cigarette," all said and according to Camera man 'Big' Al Sterling that cig flick might have just been the best ever mad cigarette flick he had seen but, he was positive it was by far the saddest. "Guy was sad," Al said. "Him being so sad made me sad too and soon we were both mad at Gold" Al added. Guy's were mostly all pissed at Gold was what this LN reporter noticed around the offices.
What Gold had been doing to Men dirty. Like what they say I did to Bubba, Terry 'Hulk' Hogan himself, might think if he had hurt his friend the way Gold was doing Men now. He'd sit for moment and just stare at a picture of his Gold Championship Belt. As he stared down looking at his World Champion Belt and saw good things were also gold the 'Hulkster' would realize it wouldn't be as bad as what people said he did to Bubba its worse. Because brother, he's realize, if he did those things to Bubba it wouldn't have been close cuz one Bubba's old lady had wanted it, She asked him to always he wouldn't have to rape her.
But, Gold was raping Men. It had been been for years, it was awful how hard Gold raped Men. For no reason.
Then two, He was telling the truth mostly but Gold always lies. Gold never did tell any truth.
Obese Man Banned From Buffet
A little Laughing News polling of the local Buffets found this to be a common problem. Hometown Buffet Manager Ty Biggins had this to say on obese customers, "It's hard to look at the way these mammoths eat in this environment. It's like an open bar for alchohlics with mashed potatoes and gravy.
Suzy Littleton a Golden Corral waitress was once trampled by a herd of obese customers and nearly ran over last September by a huge porker on a rascal heading to the buffet line for his 5th pair of plates. "It was so gross" Suzy said of the event, "Scary too but they were so fat I mostly just didn't want to touch them." Suzy thought for a moment and added, "The whale on the rascal had scared her really bad." Suzy say's late at night sometimes she can actually still hear that giant goo monster wheezing as he blocked out her world like an eclipse.
An obese man left an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet Tuesday night, well before he had eaten All-He-Could...
"He Go! He Go Now! He Too Fat! He Eat Too Much!", 'Hot Wok' Owner Chow Sun Pak yelled screaming like a pissed and more than likely wild loon in his hilarious accent as he violently swung a broom at and chased out, Stupid! Eat Too Much! ", Customer ejected from 'All You Can Eat' Chinese buffet restaurant, sources say the owner 'All You Can Eat' Chinese Buffet Restaurant, ejected the obese man, well before he had eaten "All -He_Could- Eat "He Go Now! He Too Fat! Eat Too Much! ", Customer ejected from
In Tallahassee Florida on Tuesday Bill Paxton, an obese man from north Chicago, was ejected from the 'Hot Wok' Chinese All-You-Can-Eat restaurant by Owner Chow Sun Pak. "He eat so much. He is a very fat man. He eat too much food and stay too many hours and he no leave." Pak told reporters.
 |
| Most fat guys see 'All you can eat" as a challange |
Suzy Littleton a Golden Corral waitress was once trampled by a herd of obese customers and nearly ran over last September by a huge porker on a rascal heading to the buffet line for his 5th pair of plates. "It was so gross" Suzy said of the event, "Scary too but they were so fat I mostly just didn't want to touch them." Suzy thought for a moment and added, "The whale on the rascal had scared her really bad." Suzy say's late at night sometimes she can actually still hear that giant goo monster wheezing as he blocked out her world like an eclipse.
News 2 GO,
No Call, No Show Love
Local University freshman, Dirk McGinley, totally banged the big and also kinda homely looking BBW writer girl that a lot of the Local U campus guys seemed to end up striking out and ending up with for a last ditch drunk impulse bang before passing out Sophomore Bee Ann Holden, missionary style during a frat party last Saturday but still hasn't called her or even told anyone and still denies it and also hasn't even admitted it to anybody yet.. Sources also say he has failed to even call ugly fat girl, Bree Ann Holden, even though its been 6 days since the party. Bree told Laughing News reporters tearfully, "He also completely avoids me at lunch. It's like he won't even look at me anymore." she then took another huge spoonful of her at least 2nd pint of Chunky Monkey ice cream of the that night, hurt but completely oblivious to the point of the lesson here about why the boy's weren't calling the obese girl back.
Sadly this BBW seemed doomed to be a fat last resort bang forever. Her sadness really got to this Laughing News reporters as he watched her big fat lips on the spoon. They seemed to reveal a deep sadness in her soul that was like a scary glimpse into her miserable future.
Freshman Dirk McGinely could not be reached for comment he just kept sending our calls to voicemail. Most of his buddies say he is still denying it though but, he totally banged her.
Travis Hickman another frat guy from the same party, told Laughing News this about it, "Ya, Dirk did got on that. Dude was fkn drunk as shit though but yeah he did, and honestly he actually bangs Big Bree a lot after he gets all sloshed but this time was classic because he even made out with her big ass out in the open before AND after on the couch in front of everybody and they couldn't keep their hands off each other". Then added, "Fkn telling her he loved and caressing her big ass and shit until he finally passed out on her fat rolls.",the other total douche and Local U frat kid added and offered to even pull up the clip on YouTube for Laughing News. We declined to view the clip, even though Travis mentioned it has over a million hits already on YouTube here's the link ." Dirk must have been really drunk man but he did it though", and the pictures in Travis's phone proved it. LN news even has to agree that the one pic of Dirk's drooling face as he layed there all passed out drunk in her massive back fat with hand drawn sharpie penises all over his face was hilarious, even if i was also kind of sad too.
Strong Hard Wiener, Are you giving her enough Most wives and girlfriends my wife knows don't get enough. Does yours? Find out. Click here and learn some good strokes then you can even go read some jokes, we got like tons of them.
