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Chuck Norris Facts

More than 49 Great facts about Chuck Norris like,
  1. Chuck Norris never had baby teeth.
  2. Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.
  3. Chuck Norris can give women a hard-on.
  4. Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
  5. When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.
  6. Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear rug in his living room. The bear isn't dead he's just afraid to move.
  7. When Chuck Norris walks into a court room the judge stands up and says, "All rise".
  8. Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
  9. Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi-trucks gas tank. That semi is now known as Optimus Prime.
  10. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
  11. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a uni-cycle.
  12. Chuck Norris doesn't mow the lawn. He goes outside and dares the grass to grow.
  13. Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
  14. Chuck Norris doesn't age, he levels up.
  15. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only 3 moves.
  16. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he needs.
  17. Outer space exists because it's scared to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
  18. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  19. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard, there is only another fist.
  20. Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
  21. Chuck Norris is the best soccer player to score a touchdown in the NBA.
  22. Chuck Norris punched water and left a dent.
  23. Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make him drink.
  24. Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch HE decides what time it is.
  25. Chuck Norris can bite his own ear.
  26. Chuck Norris can make a vegetarian ham sandwich.
  27. Chuck Norris is so strong he can flex his eyebrows.
  28. Chuck Norris can jump start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples.
  29. Chuck Norris was his teacher in 1st grade.
  30. Chuck Norris found Waldo - BEFORE the books came out.
  31. When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. She served him whisky straight out of the bottle.
  32. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
  33. Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with barbed wire.
  34. Chuck Norris once gave a cop a ticket for speeding.
  35. Chuck Norris CAN see Lady Gaga's poker face.
  36. If at first you don't succeed, your not Chuck Norris.
  37. Chuck Norris once rode a 9 foot grizzly bear through a car wash instead of taking a shower.
  38. If you stare at the American flag long enough you'll see a 3D image of Chuck Norris.
  39. Chuck Norris can gargle with honey.
  40. Chuck Norris beat the Hulk in an arm-wrestling contest...with his leg.
  41. Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow.
  42. Chuck Norris has one pet. It's name is fear.
  43. Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
  44. Chuck Norris died 20 years ago Death is just too afraid to tell him.
  45. Chuck Norris can give you a wet willie with a dry finger.
  46. Chuck Norris is Darth Vader's father.
  47. Chuck Norris can hit a grand slam with no one on base.
  48. Guns sleep with a picture of Chuck Norris under their pillow.
  49. Chuck Norris can clap with only one hand.
  50. Chuck Norris can shoplift on Ebay.


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